Scream (1996)

Scream (1996)

Download link: hxxp://www.megaupload.com/?d=N9P693I6

Every once in a while, a horror film comes along that is well made and well designed, and uses the genre in a way not seen before. One such movie is Scream. Unfortunately the creation of a good film like this inspires countless clones and inevitable sequels which detract from the quality of the original.

Scream starts with a good idea, a killer is stalking people in a small town called Woodsboro, and dispatching them in horror movie fashion gory ways. Sounds like its been done before. But this killer is used in the film to satirise the whole field of horror movies, from the killer being a very obsessed student of horror films, (He corrects the first victims answer that Jason was the killer in Friday The 13th) through to the other characters acting as though they are characters in a horror film, which of course, they are.

A clever idea, although it does backfire on itself. All the primary characters, especially the rather annoying Randy, played by the equally annoying Jamie Kennedy, take the "rules" and conventions of a horror film as absolute gospel truth.

The good points of the film outweigh the negatives. It is a very well crafted whodunnit, with a logical, but unexpected reveal of who the killer is. It does satirise the genre well, (one of its aims), and caters for the expected quota of blood and shock scenes. It is also quite clever. The mask used by the killer is based upon a painting called "The Scream".

It is hard however to view Scream as a solo film. It is touted now as the the first chapter of the Scream Trilogy, a series that starts out good and rapidly declines in quality. Scream also was the inspiration for other "whodunnit" style slashers such as Urban Legend, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Valentine and other boring as hell films.

If only Scream was a solo film instead of a chapter in a trilogy (soon to be four films).

4 Darios

Halloween II (2009)

Halloween II (2009)

Download Links :

Part 1 : hxxp://www.megaupload.com/?d=IDMCHWIJ

Part 2: hxxp://www.megaupload.com/?d=5C2WBVV0

(1.3 GB split into 2 parts. Use VirtualDub to rejoin them)

I like Halloween. I like the series of Halloween movies. I even can tolerate Halloween :Resurrection (barely). I can see good points in Rob Zombie's reimagining of the concept in his Halloween (2007).

I, however, cannot bring myself to like this film. I can appreciate what Zombie is trying to do, in taking the mythos of Michael Myers in a different direction to the original series, but surely he could do it in a way that makes some sort of sense. Did you know that even though Myers' mother shot herself in the head last film she still hangs around Michael? Zombie does. Did you know that the appearance of her with a white horse is supposed to mean something? Zombie does, (or he is trying to be very Twin Peaks like). Did you know that you can get your victim out of an impossible situation by using the old Dallas trick of... it was only a dream? Zombie knows this quite well. In fact he uses that old, annoying and downright lazy trick more than once in this film.

This film is confusing as hell. Is Michael dead? Is he back stalking Laurie? Is Laurie mad, is she the only sane person? Is Michael even there for all the film? How the hell can his dead mother be around? How the hell can Laurie see her? And why is the white horse so important that it keeps cropping up?

The answers are......never revealed!

Damn lazy effort Rob Zombie.

One and a half Darios because of some cool death scenes.

Punisher : War Zone (2008)

Punisher : War Zone (2008)































Well I feel like I should go back and edit my comment in the review for the 2004 Punisher. Punisher War Zone, while it is tailored to the action loving audience, is not as bad as I had originally sensed. My comment was based upon only watching the first thirty-five or forty minutes, and has changed after I have seen the entire film.



I made a mistake in reviewing the Punisher films, and it was one made by many other people. I compared the 2004 Punisher and Punisher War Zone. War Zone is a completely different animal to the other film. Based on the Marvel Knights version of The Punisher, where Frank has been doing his thing for six years before the film even begins, War Zone throws us straight into a story of Frank vs a Crime Family, not slowing down to develop a revenge plot for Frank. While Thomas Jane's Punisher showed development of his reason and growing probability of his revenge on Howard Saint (Punisher 2004), War Zone pushes an even more simple point. It is this: Frank hates criminals, therefore, he kills them.



Not to say that Punisher:War Zone is a masterpiece, because it isn't, by a long shot. There is some terrible acting, especially by Dominic West, who plays the scarred-face villain Jigsaw (no relation to the killer in Saw), horrible cheesy lines by a lot of characters and a focus on action for the sake of it. (The "high on meth all the time" gang's acrobatic displays, and Ray Stevenson (The Punisher) being able to kill people from a variety of positions. Look at me, I can kill heaps of people while hanging upsidedown from a spinning chandelier. Well OK. good for you. Looks great, but I don't see The Punisher (as a character) ever really doing that.
)


Punisher : War Zone is good fun, if you want a graphic action film. Sit back, switch the brain down for an hour and a half and enjoy.


Three Darios













(And before anyone asks, yes I am going to review the original Punisher film from 1989, starring Dolph Lundgren)

The Punisher (2004)

The Punisher (2004)

The Punisher. For those who are not familiar with the character, the backstory is quite simple. Frank Castle, Vietnam veteran, stumbles across a mob execution in a central park, (where all mob hits happen apparantly) with his family. In the crossfire, Castle's wife and kids are brutally killed. Feeling that he has lost everything, Frank (with a nice looking death's head shirt) declares war on all crime, and decides that he will punish criminals for what he has lost. He becomes "The Punisher"

Thats the character from Marvel comics. Pretty simple backstory, but a ton of story potential. The Punisher cropped up on animated series (Spider-Man:The Animated Series) with only minimal tweaking to his personality, and starred (portrayed by Dolph Lundgren), in a movie in 1989, called ...err..., The Punisher. Both these portrayals were fairly similar to the original Marvel comic character.

The Punisher (2004) gives the Punisher a good stretch of time in giving him his origin. Because he's fairly young in this film, mid thirties maybe, the Vietnam aspect is removed and replaced by Castle (Thomas Jane) being a FBI agent. In the course of a sting operation, the son of evil businessman Howard Saint (John Travolta) is killed. Saint doen't appreciate this, and at the urging of his wife, has an attack on Castle, and his family planned. Castle's entire family is killed. Not just wife and children, but his Mother, Father, various Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Nieces, Nephews, and anyone else around at the time is killed. Of course Frank survives and takes up his revenge upon Saint and his family. (And with a nice point, he does so only when the official system has failed. He gives law and justice time to do the work for him. Only when he sees there will be no justice from the system, after five months, does he pursue what he calls, "natural justice")

I know an awful lot of people who do not like this movie. A lot of them are disappointed that Frank doesn't just pick up a gun and go a blazing away. Instead he is smart, playing off members of the Saint family and organisation against themselves so they do all the fighting. In fact, for a movie called The Punisher, there is a lack of intense gunplay scenes. There are only two extended battle scenes, the first is the killing of Castle's family, and the second is the final attack on Saint. Various other scenes crop up but are not dwelt on as much. There is one other fight scene worth mentioning, and that is the fight between Castle and the assassin called "The Russian" played by WWE Wrestler Kevin "Diesel" Nash.

Castle, in a great move by director Jonathon Hensleigh, spends the movie punishing the Saints, not just executing them. It is remarkable that an action movie, and a comic based action movie at that, has that much thought put into its construction.

The Punisher, is a very faithfull adaptation of the character of Castle, and while it did alienate the action-loving audience who don't care to dig deeper into this movie, it has hidden depths, and is well deserving of the four Darios I am awarding it. It has two other positives. The score is great and the original song by Mark Collie "In Time" is brilliant.

Unfortunately, The Punisher was "rebooted" in 2008 with Punisher:War Zone, which was designed precisely to appeal to the action crowd.

Four Darios

Official Trailer (From Youtube) :

Wishlist II

As I have unexpected access and ability to obtain a few more movies, my wishlist is growing. Here's a few additions.


Blacula (1972)
Scream Blacula, Scream (1973)
Hostel
Hostel II
Nightbreed (1990)
The Fly (1986)
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
The Punisher (1989)
The Punisher (2004)
Punisher War Zone (2008)
Billy The Kid vs Dracula (1966)

Darkman II: The Return Of Durant (1995)

Darkman II: The Return Of Durant (1995)

Darkman II : The Return Of Durant is almost exactly like the original Darkman, expect it lacks Liam Neeson as Darkman, and the direction of Sam Raimi. The plot is remarkably similar to Darkman, in that Durant ends up attacking and killing a scientist working on artificial skin, as Westlake was. This time Westlake's collegue ends up dead, prompting a Darkman rage revenge.

Darkman II starring Arnold Vosloo (The Mummy from The Mummy) as Darkman is still a fun old film. Worth a look.

Three Darios

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension (1984)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Darkman (1990)

Darkman (1990)

Download link :hxxp://www.sendspace.com/folder/9runww



Darkman is Sam Raimi's first superhero film, way before he became the director of the Spider-Man series.



Darkman is the story of Peyton Westlake, (Liam Neeson) a scientist on the verge of creating artificial skin, useful for burn victims and so forth. Through a nice series of coincidences, a crimelord, Durant ends up searching the lab where he works, looking for an incriminating memo for a businessman, played by Colin Friels.



Westlakes lab is blown up by the Durant organisation, leaving him for dead. (Actually, hes blown into a river, found, treated for burns on 98% of his body with a new procedure that stops him feeling pain, creates adrenaline surges that give him strength but also subjects him to uncontrollable rages)



Westlake decides that he will use his ability to make skin to create masks to (a) disguise his disfigurement and (b) allow him to gain revenge on Durant.



What follows is a pretty simple revenge on the bad guy plot, but Darkman makes it fun, especially with the sequence that has Darkman hanging from a cable from a flying helicopter. these scenes seem to be where Raimi worked out how to film the Spider-Man swinging sequences.





Great B grade action/superhero film, and because its a Raimi film, you get to spot Raimi's two continual stars. Bruce Campbell and a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88.



Three and a half Darios

Candyman (1992)

Candyman (1992)

Download link: hxxp://www.megaupload.com/?d=HY3SYWO3




Candyman is a perfect example on how to adapt something that is pretty much unfilmable, in this case the short story "The Forbidden" by Clive Barker, and make it into something different but acceptable on its own terms.

Helen Lyle, grad student is preparing a thesis on Urban Legends. Her reserch takes her to the worst place in America, Cabrini Green, where she hears varying stories of a killer known as The Candyman.

Of course there is a way given to bring the Candyman back, and that is to say his name five times while standing in front of a mirror. Helen, not really believing in the existence of The Candyman, does this jokingly, but Whoops! You're in a slasher film, and guess what? The Candyman (slowly) returns. This little plot point wasn't in the story, but in films such as this there has to be a trigger. Originally The Candyman was summoned solely by Helen's disbelief.

Candyman is a bit peeved at Helens lack of belief in him and sets out to prove he is real through a series of murders all pinned upon Helen.

So we have a victim who everyone thinks is a murderess. A killer who is a legend and a climax involving a large bonfire.

Im trying not to give the ending away.

Candyman is a step above a lot of slasher films, in that it deals with the power of myth and legend and ultimately can be seen as a testement to the power of faith. (I wonder if the guys over at Hollywood Jesus have reviewed Candyman?) (It appears not)

Three and a half Darios for the film and a bonus half Dario because it was written by Clive Barker

Titanic (1998)

Not a movie I chose to watch again this time, but one my daughter is getting hooked on. The most expensive movie in history, Titanic.

Pretty much anyone would know what happens to the Titanic, but this movie, unlike other disaster films has much more. Action? Check. It was written and directed by James Cameron, who had done two films about a guy called The Terminator prior to this, (as well as Aliens), so you know it will have good action sequences. But for the others who don't get drawn into action scenes, it has a very touching romantic story dealing with class structure, freedom of choice and the use of personal strength to bring happiness. This romance between Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Rose (Kate Winslet) takes up the majority of the film and is what really involves the viewer. I actually took my Mum to the cinema to see this film because she'd enjoy that part.

Titanic, surprising most people, is a film that is well written, shot, directed and edited and is destined to rank among the top films for both entertainment value and as an example of how good films are made.

Five Darios

For those interested, check out the trailer to Titanic 2: Jack's Back
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD4OnHCRd_4&feature=player_embedded

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

It is not so often I am so surprised and impressed by a movie as I was by this one.

My Bloody Valentine


Download link: hxxp://www.sendspace.com/folder/fl8h9r

8 files, use hj-split or similar to rejoin

This was on my wishlist because I wanted to watch it before seeing the recent remake. This was made in 1981, and was one of the early slasher films of the Friday The 13th type. My Bloody Valentine is much better than Friday, because it has something that Friday never really got until the later 80's. It has a plot and decent actors playing characters that aren't really stupid. Most slasher characters are thick as anything, especially Law enforcement officers. MBV has the token Sherriff, but he actually does his job, doesn't turn a blind eye to the murders happening in his town, (as other slasher film cops do), and actually follows police procedure. He doesn't charge into dark places alone to meet certain death.



So what actually happens? Well, some of the story happened 20 years previously when this mining town suffered a mine explosion, trapping a group of miners underground for days. This explosion was caused becaused the supervisors went off to a Valentine's Day party before all miners were safely out. here was noone there to check methane gas levels and BOOM!, trapped miners. Days later, the sole survivor of the group, Harry Warden, is rescured and discovered chewing on his collegues to survive. Harry is sent to a mental hospital, but returns the next year to use his sharp old pick on the two supervisors who preferred to party than do their job of keeping the miners safe. Harry gives the town a warning that no Valentines Day parties occur or he will return with his trusty pick to remind the town.



For twenty years the town observed Harry's warning...



Guess what happens twenty years later? Yep, some people decide that a Valentine's Day dance is a good idea, and a certain pissed off miner with his trusty pick starts reminding people it's not a good idea.



My Bloody Valentine was heavily cut by the MPAA when first released, and it was the cut version that I saw. Most of the gore is removed from screen, which makes it more gory with the aid of imagination. So much for the MPAA protecting us from horrible things....



My Bloody Valentine, a classic of the eighties.



Four and a half Darios

Wishlist

Here's a few of the movies on my "to be watched" list.

Candyman
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
Darkman
Drag Me To Hell
The Exorcist III
Necronomicon-Book Of The Dead
Re-Animator
The Exorcism Of Emily Rose

When I get around to watching them I'll stick on a review.

Warlock (1989)

Warlock (1989)

I have only seen half of this, and was planning on watching the rest tonight, but my kids are sleeping in the loungeroom tonight, so an 80s horror film is not the best idea.

I haven't seen this for years, when I grabbed it as part of a "5 movies for $10" deal at Civic Video all those years ago. (Civic Video in Orange was cool, it had a cardboard cave for its horror section and a cardboard pink house for the Adult section). Anyway, has uploaded this a while back and I snagged it from there.

The plot is pretty simple. A warlock (Julian Sands) is captured in 1691 but escapes with the aid of a time travel portal presumably sent by the Devil. He arrives in 1989 but is pursued by a witch-hunter (Richard E Grant) who in a remarkable stroke of luck is in the same building when the time portal appears. In the present day, The Warlock is charged with obtaining three pieces of a mystical grimoire that can bring about the end of the world. That's the McGuffin for the film.

More to come when I finish watching it. At the moment, it stands at three Darios.

The Untouchables (1987)

The Untouchables

This is, in my mind, the best gangster film ever. It is also one of the relatively few film starring Kevin Costner that I like. Costner portrays Eliot Ness, the legendary Treasury agent who took on the task of "cleaning up" Chicago during the prohibition era. Of course cleaning up means taking on Al Capone, played by a Robert DeNiro-like Robert DeNiro. Ness assembles a core group of unbribeable, or untouchable police. With a group containing Sean Connery, Andy Garcia, Charles Martin Smith and Costner, can Capone even make a stand? Well yes, of course he can. And the ensuing blood makes this a violent film, with some unbelievable blooshed. But it was written by David Mamet so it is to be expected.

The other great thing about this movie is the music by Enrico Morricone. The opening title gives the feel of oppression, as the bad guys are in control, where the finale is a more positive upbeat composition, when evil has been defeated, and the scales have been balanced.

The Untouchables is a film that can be enjoyed again and again. And despite what Sick Boy says in Trainspotting, it is an Oscar-worthy performance from Sean Connery.

Four and a half Darios

The Phantom (1996)

An action adventure film this time, so don't expect a plot worthy of Shakespeare, great acting, realistic special effects, or logic in the plot.

It is however, pretty good fun.




The Phantom (1996)

The Phantom has been continuously published since 1936 and is in fact one of the first superheroes, predating Superman by two years and Batman by three. Not counting the movie serial made in the 1940's, it took sixty years to get The Phantom to the big screen. Was it worth a wait of sixty years? Definitely not. Even by action adventure movie standards The Phantom is a slapped together piece of work. For the nitpicky around here, there are a wealth of oportunities to pick holes in this film. A few of them. Horses and wolves can run faster than a biplane flies, the jungle is full of CGI Blue screens, when you jump from a biplane to a horse you change body shape and facial features completely and ancient jungle skulls and rings can generate laser beams.

But this is The Phantom, and if you are in any way fan of the character, you will know what to expect. The Phantom punching out bad guys, rescuing captive gals, and being mysterious.

I like The Phantom, I have been reading the strip on and off for the past twenty years or so. I also like this movie, but it definitely isn't very well crafted. It does set out to do what it aims for, and that is give us an adventure full of cliched villains, heroic good guys and a moralistic main character. I always feel more positive after watching The Phantom.

Three Darios (for the feel good factor, and the fact it co-stars Patrick MacGoohan)

The Goodies (1970-1982)

Not a movie this time but an entire series. Anyone alive in the seventies or eighties, especially here in Australia will remember this. Mention the phrase "three seater bike" to most of the population and they will recall these "Super-Chaps Three" ¹

Now The Goodies were classified as a kid's show, due to not only its popularity with kids, who liked the madcap slapstick chase scenes at the end of the episodes, (my favourite is the Western-Epic Movie- Silent Comedy Classic battle from Series 5's "The Movies"), but also due to the fact that it was shown here in Oz during childrens viewing time (5pm).

The Goodies is much more than a kid's show. It is a classic comedy that appeals to all ages. It is the televisual successor to "The Goon Show", in that it had a regular cast of characters, sustained a plot for the entire show, and employed surreal humour, and completely impossible physical comedy scenes for its climax. Now I know a lot of people regard Monty Python's Flying Circus as the successor to the Goons, but when you look at it, Python is really just a sketch show with silly voices. Only once in the Python series did an episode have a running plot for the entire thirty minutes ² ,and that was just a frame to hang sketches on, not a well developed plot. The Goodies brought surreal comedy, witty jokes and slapstick together with a storyline every episode (except one, which was a Goodies concert).

Five Darios



The Goodies

Torrent at : http://extratorrent.com/torrent/1764851/The+Goodies+Complete+Series+1+-+91970-82(Classic+British+Comedy)++co+uk.html

Contains all 70 Episodes, but some are missing the opening or closing credits. No big loss though

You will need a program like Bittorrent to download this file, and I will remind you that downloading copyright material is very very naughty and could strip you of you OBE's and send you to the nick.

1 - "Super Chaps Three" was the working title for The Goodies

2 - The "Python with a plot" was "Mr Pither's Cycling Tour" Episode 34.

Trainspotting (1996)

Trainspotting (1996)

Based on the novel by Irvine Welsh, Trainspotting details the life of a group of heroin addicts in Scotland. (Well only three of the five characters on the poster above are heroin users and one sucessfully kicks it) It is not as some controversy has it, a movie that glamourises heroin use, rather the opposite. There is a very artfully shot overdose scene (set to the song "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed, who was also a heroin user) and one character in the movie (not naming who) actually dies, not from an overdose, but from consequences of becoming an addicted H user.

It is tempting to compare this with the other "great" heroin movie, Christiane F, but these are two completely different films, apart from the subject of heroin use. Christiane F, (which is on my viewing and reviewing list) is a docu-drama of sorts
, while Trainspotting, even though it has a graphic message, is more a comedy, though a very black one.

Watch Trainspotting. If you are a parent of young adults, watch it with them. If you aren't, watch it anyway.

5 Darios

Frankenstein (1931) and The Bride Of Frankenstein (1935)

Here's two old classics for you. And they are lumped together because they are essentially one long film.

James Whale's masterpieces Frankenstein (1931) and The Bride Of Frankenstein (1935)



If you have read the novel, and I urge that you really should read the novel, then forget most of what happens in that. You won't be getting a verbose view on life, death, God and soul as you do from the monster in the novel. Whale keeps the monster mute, until the Bride of Frankenstein, and he only gets limited phrases to say, (although, he does appear to have learned some wisdom by the end of Bride), thus we don't get his speech on life that Shelley's creature gives us.

So what do we have in the films?

Doctor Henry (not Victor) Frankenstein creates a creature from pieces of deceased humans, only the mishap comes when his assistant, instead of stealing a normal" brain from the medical labs, steal the "abnormal" brain ofcriminal. (This film was made in 1931 when phrenology (the stdy of a person's character from the bumps on their head) was studied. This results in the creation of a "monster" who later terrorises the local town, or if you look at the way Whale portrays it, the creation of a child in a man's body, who is percieved as a monster because of the way society reacts to him. I'm unsure whether Whale put this in as a statement on persecution because he was an openly gay man in Hollywood in the 1930s.

Bride of Frankenstein, released four years later deals with the other half of the plot of Shelly's novel, that of the creation of a mate for the creature. I do not have the time to discuss the gay reading of this film, and there is an awful lot of subtext here. This is because Whale originally did not want to direct a sequel, thinking he'd pushed the plot as far as he could with the first, and as an incentive he was given a much freer reign for Bride.

Watch these films in one session, as they are one story, and one director's handling of the Frankenstein myth. You will get an awful lot out of these films, probably more than you wil expect.

Frankenstein 4 Darios

The Bride of Frankenstein 4 1/2 Darios.

Gojira (aka Godzilla) (1954)

Gojira (aka Godzilla (1954))



Download link: http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4177000/Godzilla-Toho_Ultimate_38_Movie_Collection_(Hx3) (This contains not only Godzilla, but just about every Godzilla film ever made, apart from, strangely, Son Of Godzilla. The link is a Torrent, so you will require a torrent program such as Bittorrent or uTorrent to download)

Plot Summary from IMDB

Japan is thrown into a panic after several ships explode and are sunk. At first the authorities think its either underwater mines or underwater volcanic activity. The authorities soon head to Odo Island, close to where several of the ships were sunk. One night, something comes onshore and destroys several houses and kills several people. A later expedition to the island led by paleontologist Professor Kyohei Yemani, his daughter Emiko and a young navy frogman Hideto Ogata (who also happens to be Emiko's lover even though she is betrothed to Doctor Daisuke Serizawa)soon discover something more devastating than imagined in the form of a 164 foot tall monster whom the natives call Gojira. Now the monster begins a rampage that threatens to destroy not only Japan, but the rest of the world as well. Can the monster be destroyed before it is too late and what role will the mysterious Serizawa play in the battle?

Pretty involved plot summary for a movie most people see simply as a Monster film. Characterisation? In a Godzilla film? Well yes, because this is the original Japanese film from 1954. This was before Godzilla became a monster to pit against other monsters, this Godzilla is a symbol, and is used as a metaphor for the horrors of nuclear power and especially nuclear weapons. Remember this movie was released only nine years after the destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, so the idea of a nuclear powered giant monster (Godzilla has an "atomic breath") was particularly impactful on Japanese audiences in the fifties.

This review is of the original Japanese language film, Gojira. The distributors in America picked up this film, recut it, added scenes starring Raymond Burr, to make it more palatable for American audiences. The result, Godzilla:King Of The Monsters is more geared towards a horror monster film than the Japanese. While it is worth watching, Gojira has the level of masterpiece. Godzilla:King Of The Monsters is simply a good film.

Four and a half Darios

Friday The 13th (2009) Killer (Extended) Cut

Friday the 13th (2009) *Extended Cut* Film: Friday the 13th (2009) Director/Writer(s): Marcus Nispel (director), Damian Shannon (screenplay) & Mark Swift (screenplay). Cast: Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Travis Van Winkle, Aaron Yoo, Derek Mears, Jonathan Sadowski... Genre: Horror | Thriller Plot Outline: A group of young adults discover a boarded up Camp Crystal Lake, where they soon encounter Jason Voorhees and his deadly intentions. Certification: USA:R (for strong bloody violence, some graphic sexual content, nudity, language and drug material.) Size: 1.36 GB Megaupload: part 1 & part 2. Notes: This is the 'Extended Killer Cut', OK, I've just copied and pasted this in from  , because I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. I'll edit this entry with a review and plot summary when I do.

Watchmen (2009)

A new movie today, but one just as cultish and geeky as the others. Watchmen, based on the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons 12 issue comic for DC (although Alan Moore has requested that his name never appears on film adaptations of his work-so he is uncredited on screen)

Watchmen (the graphic novel) is set in 1985 (on an alternate Earth- Nixon is still US president), and the world is closer to nuclear armageddon. In this world were costumed heroes untill a 1977 act made them illegal. Starring costumed heroes based on old comics heros (Night Owl (based on Batman), Rorschach (The Question) Silk Spectre (Black Canary) Dr Manhattan (Catain Atom) etc, the story starts with one being murdered and a select group investigating, coming out of retirement, and dealing with the threat. Pretty simple right? No, In 12 issues is enough subtext, backstory, parallel plots, satire, parody and plot to fill a comic run 100 issues or more. There is a reason the graphic novel is called the best graphic novel in existence.


The movie will not be called the greatest superhero movie ever, at least not by me. It is however a very faithful adaptation, although it loses a lot of the subtext by trying to pack it all into 2 1/2 hours. The director Zack Snyder (Dawn Of The dead, 300) does a very good job though, which is why I'll give Watchmen (The Film) four Darios

No download link for this one, as it is only just in the cinemas. (well actually, it is available online, but not good quality, and it really is a film that should be seen on the big screen)

Shocker (1989)

Shocker (1989)

cast : Mitch Pileggi, Peter Berg, Michael Murphy
Director : Wes Craven

Download : hxxp://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=e4e25e01124c40c91bee9a6e9edd9c76485981f10dcb46fd5be6ba49b5870170

10 Parts , Join with HJ Split

Plot: Serial Killer Horace Pinker is tracked down by a Police Chief's son, and executed by electric chair. Failing to die, Pinker instead becomes a supercharged electrical Demon ready to live up to his final words, "No more Mr. Nice Guy"

I love Shocker, there I've said it. I think of all Wes Craven's films this is the second best (after A Nightmare On Elm Street 1 of course). Now  realise that Shocker is not a perfect film, full of some poor acting at times, and a plot that makes no sense at all, even within the film. The transforming of Pinker from human to superhumal electrical monster is actually NOT the most ludicrous aspect of the plot, and the way Pinker is tracked down is completely weird, and the final ten minutes are beyond possibility.

But.....

Shocker is very entertaining, if you watch it with a huge amount of Suspension Of Disbelief, you will be entertained with a tale of Good against Evil and a film with more than a few moments of dark humour.

The soundtrack album as well, is superb!

Four and a half Darios!

Zombie Christ

 

Download : 239.68 mB in 1 part http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6KZ7SSTQ 

Remember reading your Bible, especially the New Testement and marvelling at the zombies and kung-fu you found in there? You don't? Well thats OK because this film depicts it in atrociously acted detail. You see, when Jesus raised from the dead, he wasn't quite the same. In fact he was a zombie. Now the only thing stopping him from converting all the world (HA! Converting! I maketh a funny) was the kung fu skills the diciples had picked up on their travels through Galilee (just south of China and Japan)
 
Now you can say what you like about Plan 9 from Outer Space (which I will review one day) but Zombie Christ is without doubt, THE WORST FILM EVER! Poor filming, poor acting, and the worst zombie I have ever seen.

Mind you, I'm still giving it One Dario solely because of the concept.

Trick Or Treat (1986)

Trick Or Treat (1986)

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Cast : Marc Price, Tony Fields, Lisa Orgolini, Gene Simmons (Despite what the DVD cover says, Ozzy Osbourne is in it for only a minute)

Certificate : M 15+(Australia)

Plot: Eddie Weinbauer is a typical All-American teenager, at least he was until he fell under the evil spell of Rock Music. Now he's obsessed with his heavy-metal superstar idol, Sammi Curr, who is killed in a hotel fire. Eddie becomes the recipient of the only copy of Curr's unreleased album, which when played backwards sends a message of destruction and as Halloween approaches, Eddie begins to realize this isn't only rock 'n roll... it's life and death and he must draw the line to thwart this mission.

Oh yes, this is THE heavy metal horror movie of the eighties, (or any decade). Starring Marc "Skippy from Family Ties" Price as Eddie this movie has it all. A victimised teen who discovers (or in this case is handed) great power, a revenge plot that gets out of hand, eighties heavy metal (from the band Fastway) and a story that covers teen rebellion, individuality, music backmasking, the role of heroes in society, and some nice eighties horror movie destruction.

Also "stars" Ozzy Osbourne as an anti-rock Reverend. And Ozzy must have done a great job because even though he appears for less than a minute or two, he appears on the DVD cover!

I have a soft spot for Trick Or Treat. Not only was it a film I continually hired from the video shop (remember them?) when I was a boy, it is also (according to Christian Fundamentalist preacher Jeff Godwin (in his book Dancing With Demons) one of the most evil movies ever). And it covered the old fun hobby we used to have of looking for backmasking, (ie stuff recorded backwards on albums, especially heavy metal). Of course in this movie there is more backmasking than anyone, even The Beatles could have put on an album.

Most evil movie, eighties rock, and directed by the weedy little accountant from The Untouchables, all this adds up giving it four (backmasked) Darios.

Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives

Friday The 13th Part 6:Jason Lives

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Why am I starting my reviews of the Friday movies with this one? Quite simply, it is the best of the series. Not boring at all, and with touches of humor (including a smiley-face gag), some entertaining death scenes plus the male lead is Thom Matthews (who also starred in the other great 80's film The Return Of The Living Dead (I and II)) This is where it all got turned around with Jason Voorhees, in all films to this point, Jason was portrayed as human, (super strong as well) but still human. And it was as a human that he was killed (in 1984's Friday The 13th:The Final Chapter). So if he's dead, whats the movie about. Well picture a metal bar thrust into an open coffin and a handy bolt of lightning. Presto! Instant reanimated Jason. The Friday The 13th Website (http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com/) gives this basic premise in its plot synopsis:
Tommy Jarvis is released from the mental institutions in which he has spent most of his adolescence. Along with his friend Allen Hawes, Tommy goes to dig up and cremate Jason's corpse. But when he pierces Jason's chest with an iron fence post, a bolt of lightning resurrects him. Jason quickly takes out Allen with a fist through the chest, and when Tommy flees Jason heads for the renamed and reopened Lake Forest Green. Basically this movie is a killer stalking the killer of the aforementioned killer. A zombiefied undead Jason, and a story that makes much more sense than a lot of the Friday movies. And a James Bond homage just before the opening titles. No wonder it is often voted the best of the series. So my equation for this movie is the preceeding premise+Thom Matthews+ Jason Voorhees + Songs by Alice Cooper equals FOUR Darios!

Friday The 13th Part VI : Jason Lives (1986)

Friday The 13th Part 6:Jason Lives

Download information:691 MB in 7 Parts: hxxp://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=8f0c64af29853300b4e0c5efb3960d7913718ef75398fc69

Why am I starting my reviews of the Friday movies with this one? Quite simply, it is the best of the series. Not boring at all, and with touches of humor (including a smiley-face gag), some entertaining death scenes plus the male lead is Thom Matthews (who also starred in the other great 80's film The Return Of The Living Dead (I and II))

This is where it all got turned around with Jason Voorhees, in all films to this point, Jason was portrayed as human, (super strong as well) but still human. And it was as a human that he was killed (in 1984's Friday The 13th:The Final Chapter).

So if he's dead, whats the movie about. Well picture a metal bar thrust into an open coffin and a handy bolt of lightning. Presto! Instant reanimated Jason.

The Friday The 13th Website (http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com) gives this basic premise in its plot synopsis:

Tommy Jarvis is released from the mental institutions in which he has spent most of his adolescence. Along with his friend Allen Hawes, Tommy goes to dig up and cremate Jason's corpse. But when he pierces Jason's chest with an iron fence post, a bolt of lightning resurrects him. Jason quickly takes out Allen with a fist through the chest, and when Tommy flees Jason heads for the renamed and reopened Lake Forest Green.

Basically this movie is a killer stalking the killer of the aforementioned killer. A zombiefied undead Jason, and a story that makes much more sense than a lot of the Friday movies. And a James Bond homage just before the opening titles. No wonder it is often voted the best of the series.

So my equation for this movie is the preceeding premise+Thom Matthews+ Jason Voorhees + Songs by Alice Cooper equals

FOUR Darios!

Halloween (2007)

Film : Halloween (2007)

Director : Rob Zombie

Cast: Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Daeg Faerch, Sheri Moon Zombie

Certification: R 18+ (Australia)

Plot: (from IMDB) After being committed for 17 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution (where he was committed as a 10 year old) and he immediately returns to Haddonfield, where he wants to find his baby sister, Laurie. Anyone who crosses his path is in mortal danger

Size : 698Mb in 7 parts

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This is the one that had all he horror fanboys all upset a couple of years back. Rob Zombie's Halloween. When this was in production, there were many negative comments thrown about about how Zombie could make a remake of the classic Halloween (1978). Well Zombie has pulled a swiftie on us. This isn't just a remake, but a prequel as well. How about that for a talented Zombie?

Not quite, it is effective as a prequel, in that Zombie gives us a good glimpse of a ten year old Michael Myers. Did you know Michael was abused at home by his stepfather, bullied at school and was an animal mutilator? From Carpenter's film we have no idea about his childhood, save that he killed his sister on Halloween. Zombie's Halloween spends approximately 40 minutes of its 100 on a ten year old Michael. And this is where the film loses it for me. The original character of Michael Myers, (in the two Carpenter films) had no effort spent on showing sympathy for Michael. He was a "force of nature", a being who may or may not be supernatural, who did not deserve any audience sympathy. And this is what made him scary-because we did not know what he really was. (Apart from having "the devil's eyes" we have no idea about his makeup)

Zombie gives us 40 minutes of sympathy for Michael, then lauches into his remake with Michael stalking the babysitter - which is the whole point of Halloween.

Mind you, I respect what Zombie was trying to do. He has not simply remade Halloween, he has crafted his own film. He has not fallen into the Gus Van Sant remaking Psycho trap, and he has added parts to the film to make it his own, not a carbon copy of Carpenter's work. ¹

I'm calling this one as I see it. If it was an original film Zombie had come up with, (ie if the was no Carpenter Halloween) then it would score higher, but as it stands, as a remake/prequel to an existing film, I am only giving it two and a half Darios.



1 - Remakes can be good though. Look at The Maltese Falcon with Bogie. That was a remake...