Watchmen (2009)

A new movie today, but one just as cultish and geeky as the others. Watchmen, based on the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons 12 issue comic for DC (although Alan Moore has requested that his name never appears on film adaptations of his work-so he is uncredited on screen)

Watchmen (the graphic novel) is set in 1985 (on an alternate Earth- Nixon is still US president), and the world is closer to nuclear armageddon. In this world were costumed heroes untill a 1977 act made them illegal. Starring costumed heroes based on old comics heros (Night Owl (based on Batman), Rorschach (The Question) Silk Spectre (Black Canary) Dr Manhattan (Catain Atom) etc, the story starts with one being murdered and a select group investigating, coming out of retirement, and dealing with the threat. Pretty simple right? No, In 12 issues is enough subtext, backstory, parallel plots, satire, parody and plot to fill a comic run 100 issues or more. There is a reason the graphic novel is called the best graphic novel in existence.


The movie will not be called the greatest superhero movie ever, at least not by me. It is however a very faithful adaptation, although it loses a lot of the subtext by trying to pack it all into 2 1/2 hours. The director Zack Snyder (Dawn Of The dead, 300) does a very good job though, which is why I'll give Watchmen (The Film) four Darios

No download link for this one, as it is only just in the cinemas. (well actually, it is available online, but not good quality, and it really is a film that should be seen on the big screen)

Shocker (1989)

Shocker (1989)

cast : Mitch Pileggi, Peter Berg, Michael Murphy
Director : Wes Craven

Download : hxxp://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=e4e25e01124c40c91bee9a6e9edd9c76485981f10dcb46fd5be6ba49b5870170

10 Parts , Join with HJ Split

Plot: Serial Killer Horace Pinker is tracked down by a Police Chief's son, and executed by electric chair. Failing to die, Pinker instead becomes a supercharged electrical Demon ready to live up to his final words, "No more Mr. Nice Guy"

I love Shocker, there I've said it. I think of all Wes Craven's films this is the second best (after A Nightmare On Elm Street 1 of course). Now  realise that Shocker is not a perfect film, full of some poor acting at times, and a plot that makes no sense at all, even within the film. The transforming of Pinker from human to superhumal electrical monster is actually NOT the most ludicrous aspect of the plot, and the way Pinker is tracked down is completely weird, and the final ten minutes are beyond possibility.

But.....

Shocker is very entertaining, if you watch it with a huge amount of Suspension Of Disbelief, you will be entertained with a tale of Good against Evil and a film with more than a few moments of dark humour.

The soundtrack album as well, is superb!

Four and a half Darios!

Zombie Christ

 

Download : 239.68 mB in 1 part http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6KZ7SSTQ 

Remember reading your Bible, especially the New Testement and marvelling at the zombies and kung-fu you found in there? You don't? Well thats OK because this film depicts it in atrociously acted detail. You see, when Jesus raised from the dead, he wasn't quite the same. In fact he was a zombie. Now the only thing stopping him from converting all the world (HA! Converting! I maketh a funny) was the kung fu skills the diciples had picked up on their travels through Galilee (just south of China and Japan)
 
Now you can say what you like about Plan 9 from Outer Space (which I will review one day) but Zombie Christ is without doubt, THE WORST FILM EVER! Poor filming, poor acting, and the worst zombie I have ever seen.

Mind you, I'm still giving it One Dario solely because of the concept.

Trick Or Treat (1986)

Trick Or Treat (1986)

Download : hxxp://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=e4e25e01124c40c91bee9a6e9edd9c762196a04df1d168c7b8eada0a1ae8665a
6 parts Join with HJ-Split

Cast : Marc Price, Tony Fields, Lisa Orgolini, Gene Simmons (Despite what the DVD cover says, Ozzy Osbourne is in it for only a minute)

Certificate : M 15+(Australia)

Plot: Eddie Weinbauer is a typical All-American teenager, at least he was until he fell under the evil spell of Rock Music. Now he's obsessed with his heavy-metal superstar idol, Sammi Curr, who is killed in a hotel fire. Eddie becomes the recipient of the only copy of Curr's unreleased album, which when played backwards sends a message of destruction and as Halloween approaches, Eddie begins to realize this isn't only rock 'n roll... it's life and death and he must draw the line to thwart this mission.

Oh yes, this is THE heavy metal horror movie of the eighties, (or any decade). Starring Marc "Skippy from Family Ties" Price as Eddie this movie has it all. A victimised teen who discovers (or in this case is handed) great power, a revenge plot that gets out of hand, eighties heavy metal (from the band Fastway) and a story that covers teen rebellion, individuality, music backmasking, the role of heroes in society, and some nice eighties horror movie destruction.

Also "stars" Ozzy Osbourne as an anti-rock Reverend. And Ozzy must have done a great job because even though he appears for less than a minute or two, he appears on the DVD cover!

I have a soft spot for Trick Or Treat. Not only was it a film I continually hired from the video shop (remember them?) when I was a boy, it is also (according to Christian Fundamentalist preacher Jeff Godwin (in his book Dancing With Demons) one of the most evil movies ever). And it covered the old fun hobby we used to have of looking for backmasking, (ie stuff recorded backwards on albums, especially heavy metal). Of course in this movie there is more backmasking than anyone, even The Beatles could have put on an album.

Most evil movie, eighties rock, and directed by the weedy little accountant from The Untouchables, all this adds up giving it four (backmasked) Darios.

Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives

Friday The 13th Part 6:Jason Lives

Download information:691 MB in 7 Parts:

hxxp://www.mediafire.com/sharekey=8f0c64af29853300b4e0c5efb3960d7913718ef75398fc69

Why am I starting my reviews of the Friday movies with this one? Quite simply, it is the best of the series. Not boring at all, and with touches of humor (including a smiley-face gag), some entertaining death scenes plus the male lead is Thom Matthews (who also starred in the other great 80's film The Return Of The Living Dead (I and II)) This is where it all got turned around with Jason Voorhees, in all films to this point, Jason was portrayed as human, (super strong as well) but still human. And it was as a human that he was killed (in 1984's Friday The 13th:The Final Chapter). So if he's dead, whats the movie about. Well picture a metal bar thrust into an open coffin and a handy bolt of lightning. Presto! Instant reanimated Jason. The Friday The 13th Website (http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com/) gives this basic premise in its plot synopsis:
Tommy Jarvis is released from the mental institutions in which he has spent most of his adolescence. Along with his friend Allen Hawes, Tommy goes to dig up and cremate Jason's corpse. But when he pierces Jason's chest with an iron fence post, a bolt of lightning resurrects him. Jason quickly takes out Allen with a fist through the chest, and when Tommy flees Jason heads for the renamed and reopened Lake Forest Green. Basically this movie is a killer stalking the killer of the aforementioned killer. A zombiefied undead Jason, and a story that makes much more sense than a lot of the Friday movies. And a James Bond homage just before the opening titles. No wonder it is often voted the best of the series. So my equation for this movie is the preceeding premise+Thom Matthews+ Jason Voorhees + Songs by Alice Cooper equals FOUR Darios!

Friday The 13th Part VI : Jason Lives (1986)

Friday The 13th Part 6:Jason Lives

Download information:691 MB in 7 Parts: hxxp://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=8f0c64af29853300b4e0c5efb3960d7913718ef75398fc69

Why am I starting my reviews of the Friday movies with this one? Quite simply, it is the best of the series. Not boring at all, and with touches of humor (including a smiley-face gag), some entertaining death scenes plus the male lead is Thom Matthews (who also starred in the other great 80's film The Return Of The Living Dead (I and II))

This is where it all got turned around with Jason Voorhees, in all films to this point, Jason was portrayed as human, (super strong as well) but still human. And it was as a human that he was killed (in 1984's Friday The 13th:The Final Chapter).

So if he's dead, whats the movie about. Well picture a metal bar thrust into an open coffin and a handy bolt of lightning. Presto! Instant reanimated Jason.

The Friday The 13th Website (http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com) gives this basic premise in its plot synopsis:

Tommy Jarvis is released from the mental institutions in which he has spent most of his adolescence. Along with his friend Allen Hawes, Tommy goes to dig up and cremate Jason's corpse. But when he pierces Jason's chest with an iron fence post, a bolt of lightning resurrects him. Jason quickly takes out Allen with a fist through the chest, and when Tommy flees Jason heads for the renamed and reopened Lake Forest Green.

Basically this movie is a killer stalking the killer of the aforementioned killer. A zombiefied undead Jason, and a story that makes much more sense than a lot of the Friday movies. And a James Bond homage just before the opening titles. No wonder it is often voted the best of the series.

So my equation for this movie is the preceeding premise+Thom Matthews+ Jason Voorhees + Songs by Alice Cooper equals

FOUR Darios!

Halloween (2007)

Film : Halloween (2007)

Director : Rob Zombie

Cast: Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Daeg Faerch, Sheri Moon Zombie

Certification: R 18+ (Australia)

Plot: (from IMDB) After being committed for 17 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution (where he was committed as a 10 year old) and he immediately returns to Haddonfield, where he wants to find his baby sister, Laurie. Anyone who crosses his path is in mortal danger

Size : 698Mb in 7 parts

Download Link : hxxp://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=e4e25e01124c40c91bee9a6e9edd9c7638860a649c019364b8eada0a1ae8665a

Download all parts and join with HJ-Split

This is the one that had all he horror fanboys all upset a couple of years back. Rob Zombie's Halloween. When this was in production, there were many negative comments thrown about about how Zombie could make a remake of the classic Halloween (1978). Well Zombie has pulled a swiftie on us. This isn't just a remake, but a prequel as well. How about that for a talented Zombie?

Not quite, it is effective as a prequel, in that Zombie gives us a good glimpse of a ten year old Michael Myers. Did you know Michael was abused at home by his stepfather, bullied at school and was an animal mutilator? From Carpenter's film we have no idea about his childhood, save that he killed his sister on Halloween. Zombie's Halloween spends approximately 40 minutes of its 100 on a ten year old Michael. And this is where the film loses it for me. The original character of Michael Myers, (in the two Carpenter films) had no effort spent on showing sympathy for Michael. He was a "force of nature", a being who may or may not be supernatural, who did not deserve any audience sympathy. And this is what made him scary-because we did not know what he really was. (Apart from having "the devil's eyes" we have no idea about his makeup)

Zombie gives us 40 minutes of sympathy for Michael, then lauches into his remake with Michael stalking the babysitter - which is the whole point of Halloween.

Mind you, I respect what Zombie was trying to do. He has not simply remade Halloween, he has crafted his own film. He has not fallen into the Gus Van Sant remaking Psycho trap, and he has added parts to the film to make it his own, not a carbon copy of Carpenter's work. ¹

I'm calling this one as I see it. If it was an original film Zombie had come up with, (ie if the was no Carpenter Halloween) then it would score higher, but as it stands, as a remake/prequel to an existing film, I am only giving it two and a half Darios.



1 - Remakes can be good though. Look at The Maltese Falcon with Bogie. That was a remake...